* Mother's Day Musings *

Mother's Day 2007

Dear Sons,

It's hard for me to fathom at times that the three of you are now in your twenties. It doesn't seem all that long ago that I was twenty-something myself, with a life full of promise and adventure waiting ahead. Those early years were busy and full....with all the trials, tribulations, and triumphs of young motherhood.

Although there were challenging days, it was always a joy to be your mother! Watching you achieve the milestones of taking your first steps or saying your first words....those were the priceless moments that remain embedded in my mind and heart. It was my constant and fervent prayer that God would keep me healthy until each of you had safely reached adulthood, and God has been faithful to answer the prayer of a mother's heart.

I discovered a poem when you were little boys that seemed to be especially written for me.

To the Mother of a Young Son

Hold your breath but not his hand
When he climbs to the top of the tree.
You can't go too -- the journey's his
There's a lot of world to see.

He found a haven in your arms
But now he's on his own.
The track is there and he must run
And he must run alone.

The cord was cut when you gave him birth
They placed him near your heart.
Yours to guide, yours to love
And yours to watch depart.

-Shirley Taylor Lambert-

I have been blessed with the opportunity to love and guide you over the years. I ask your forgiveness for the many times I did not live up to all I should have been, for the times I've failed you, and for the mistakes I have made. Now it is now time for you to discover your own strengths, gifts, and talents and use them to make the world a better place. Trust in God and He will direct your paths.

I am so proud of each of you and so blessed to be your mother.

Love Always,

Mom

* Felisbela, Our Bela Flor *

Our family beginnings - Terceira, Azores

Dearest Mother,

You were, and still are.... the most beautiful of flowers, plucked from an island of fragrant lilacs and hydrangeas....our own Terceira. I have often wondered over the years whether I could have done as you did....leaving my family and native country behind to begin anew in a strange and foreign land. I don't think I would have had your courage, nor would I have been able to survive had I been uprooted from my homeland. My soul would have withered and died. But as hard as this must have been for you at the tender age of nineteen, your decision to marry the handsome young Staff Sergeant stationed at Lajes Air Force Base and fly across the ocean -- blessed us with life, family, and opportunity. My heart will always be grateful.

Growing up, children do not often think of their parents as people with hopes and dreams of their own. It's not until I became a parent myself that I understood your many sacrifices over the years. Your life did not begin as an easy one; losing your own dear mama when you were but a young child. Inadequate medical care left your beautiful eyes scarred and your body a carrier of tuberculosis. An inadequate school system left you with a grade school education. Your father remarried and began a new family....you lost your younger brother Joao to a landmine in Angola while serving in the Portuguese Army....no, life wasn't always easy for you. But God is gracious! Your three maternal aunts (tias) Lydia, Leontina, and Inez took you under protective "wings" and raised you to young womanhood. Under their care and direction you worked in the little sewing/alteration shop in the town of Praia. Under their watchful eyes and disapproving frowns many "suitors" who came to the shop to vie for your attention were discouraged. That is, until Dad won your heart and the hearts of your "tias" as well. It is with great love that your tias hand-fashioned the wedding dress you would wear on that April day, when you and Dad walked arm in arm to the altar of Matriz Church....to begin your new life together.

The photographs of your wedding day show a happy bride and groom; barely 19 and 22 years of age. You were so young with so much of life ahead. Nine months later, almost to the day....I was born! Then three months after my arrival, you were preparing to fly to America....never to see your own father again. It would be many years before you saw your tias or set foot on your beloved Terceira Island again. I often wonder how you felt that day. Were you excited about the new adventures that were ahead of you? Did your heart ache for what you were leaving behind? I'm sure you must have been feeling an assortment of mixed emotions. You must have known that your life would never be the same.

Although coming to America must have been an exciting adventure, it would also bring challenges. I know that when Dad drove cross country and stopped to show you his birthplace in Norma, North Dakota, you were ever grateful when it was time to continue driving west towards Washington State! I know its beauty and greenery must have been much more appealing to you than the dry wheat fields of North Dakota! At least the green and beauty of this area would ease the homesickness of leaving your island behind.

You began your new life with Dad living in the home of your in-laws, while Dad went to the University of Washington to obtain his Bachelor's Degree and teaching certification. Dad spoke fluent Portuguese, but during those days and times it was imperative for you to learn English and to fit in with our culture and society here. It couldn't have been easy with a new husband, new baby daughter, and a new language and culture -- all the while living under someone else's roof. I know you were glad when you and Dad were able to get your own apartment; even if it was student housing in the poor section of town. Even if it meant eating oatmeal for dinner on many occasions! At least this would be your own "casita".... no matter how humble!

While Dad went to college and worked to become a teacher, you kept our hearth and home a happy one. Children were born during these ensuing years and although I know you love each and every one of us and would never change a thing, I can't help but feel compassion for the young mother you once were and how you must have struggled. Six children were born during those early years....Dorothy, James, Thomas, Edward, Teresa, and Lisa. Your third child, Thomas, died during infancy and Edward and Teresa were barely eleven months apart. Although Dad was an attentive father, I know that the majority of our care fell on your shoulders over the years.

Without your family or support system close by, it's no wonder you got sick. When I think back to my childhood I remember the times when you "went away" to the hospital and how much I missed you. I didn't understand it at the time, or why other extended family members had to take care of us. I understand it better now. I think you gave so much of yourself to us over the years, you somehow lost the pieces of your own identity. I wonder if that would have happened if you'd made other choices in your life. I can't say for sure, but I know you sacrificed so much of your own life for us. Whereas Dad always provided what we needed, you always scrimped and saved to fulfill the "desires of our hearts". Sometimes you worked and sacrificed too hard. I'm sorry for the years I did not appreciate those sacrifices. I appreciate so much more now.

Your children grew up and moved on with their lives. I know that for someone who spent her entire life caring for her family, this was not an easy time for you. With encouragement, you used this time to spread your wings and become your own person. You studied for your citizenship exam, learned to drive a car, got a part-time job, and became more independent. You and Dad were finally able to make a couple of trips back to the Azores. During these trips you were able to see how your life had changed for the better and I think this confirmed for you that your decision had been the right one.

The years have flown by so quickly. You and Dad retired to Seabeck and built a new life on Hood Canal. There on Misery Point Road you have had your share of joys as well as your share of sorrows. The community rallied around you and Dad after your house fire. Through a miracle, we found some of your photo albums with the edges of photographs only slightly burned. Your wedding photos, one of a kind, were among these. You were able to rebuild from the ashes as well as experience the love and support of your community. With your home in Seabeck and your "casita" in Tucson, life has been good. The hardest part of all for you was having to be brave during Dad's illness. I admired your strength and courage even though there were many times I'm sure you needed to cry. When I held you in my arms the day Dad's body was removed from the house I realized how strong, and yet how vulnerable you are. I hope you know that although you built your life on being Dad's wife and our mother.... you are a special person in your own right. You are a person to be admired for your own unique strengths and abilities.

Before Dad passed away he penned a poem in Portuguese and English dedicated to you. I know he must have realized you gave up a life for him and appreciated your decision to walk by his side. The words of his poem express what you have meant in all of our lives:

* Bela Flor *

Contigo, canta o meu coracao
E de maos dadas, andamos
Pelas ruas de memoria
Onde inverno parece verao

Ainda es uma bela flor
Por agora e sempre
Tu es a minha vida
Tu es o meu amor

* Beautiful Flower *

With you my heart sings
And with hands held we walk
Through the streets of our memories
The winter seems like spring

You are a beautiful flower
For now and always
You are my life
You are my love

Mom,

I'm writing these words to share with you just after our recent milestone "zero" birthday celebrations -- turning "70 in 07" as you've said in good humor. The experiences of my childhood are tucked in the recesses of my mind; quickly retrieved as if only yesterday. I know the years have flown by for you, too. Mother's Day is a week away and I hope you know how proud we are of you and how grateful and thankful we are that God has blessed us with you.

In a few short months you will be traveling with your children back to Terceira....the island of your youth; the island of our Portuguese heritage. It will be a time for all of us to connect with our "roots" and to see where our lives began -- in the mind, in the heart, and in the dreams of our beloved mother.... our bela flor!

Your loving daughter,

Dorothy


Mom with her favorite baseball player - Seattle Mariner Edgar Martinez - Walk for Autism 2007